I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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