When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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