i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
