I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
