A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
