Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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