He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
