im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
