there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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