Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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