But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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