Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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