he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
