You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
