Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
