She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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