I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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