u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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