one two three fourrrrnication!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
