when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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