You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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