He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Houston, we have a squirter
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
