five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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