And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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