Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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