i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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