I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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