Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
