East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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