K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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