1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
