that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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