morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
