I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
