hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
PANTIES FOUND
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