she was so not down for the gang bang
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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