did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
