the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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