I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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