I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
