Whod you bang
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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