I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
