Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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