Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
