true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
