We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
They have beer where we have blood.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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