she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
