I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
