I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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