Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
