there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
