I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
