If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
