my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
NoShamevember. You game?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
